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PITTSBURGH -- Randy Pausch, a former Carnegie Mellon University computer scientist whose “last lecture” about facing terminal cancer became an international sensation and a best-selling book, died Friday. He was 47.
MSNBC Article announcing that Dr. Randy Pausch has passed away
His last lecture.
What does it mean if you sleep in the “Loosely Tethered Sleeping Style” versus “The Honeymoon Hug” or “The Royal Position”? What is the “Zen Style”? Do the “Leg Hug” or the “The Cliffhanger” indicate trouble in paradise? How do you and your spouse and what does that say about your relationship?
From this post
I want to take a moment and write a bit about car accidents.
My wife and children were involved in an awful wreck 10 days ago when their vehicle was struck by a driver who ran a red light at nearly 60 miles per hour. My wife was driving our Suzuki Reno and the car itself was totaled in the accident, though — thankfully — my family escaped with only injuries; some worse then others.
I am not going to detail the physical injuries in this post. My purpose in writing this today is to raise a little awareness about a side effect of traumatic accidents that I was not previously aware of. I am talking about “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” or PTSD. Before I get into it though I want to share with you a picture or two of the car post accident, so that you can get a feel for the violence of this particular accident.
Ok — first up is a picture of the front end of our car. As you can see, the car preformed as it was designed to do in the event of a catastrophic accident: The engine collapsed to the pavement, and the engine compartment folded itself around the passenger area, protecting the occupants of the vehicle.
Officers who arrived on the scene just after the accident and who interviewed the eyewitnesses tell me that my wife probably didn’t see the other vehicle until he appeared out of the blind spot near the crest of the hill, less then 20 feet from the intersection. Reacting on instinct, she slammed down hard on her breaks, and struck the other vehicle broadside in the passenger doors. Had she not reacted the way she did, he would have probably struck her broadside, and considering the size and weight of the other car — the outcome of the accident would have been very different for her and my children.
She tells me she can still see his face as clear as day as he looked up from whatever it was he was doing just as our car impacted with his. I can imagine the surprise on his face.
Thankfully, the other driver was riding alone, and there were no injuries in his car.
We were lucky, but not altogether unscathed. My 10 year old daughter was cut by her seatbelt in the lower part of her belly and required 20 stitches. Thats a picture of her stitches, next to the picture of our car (above). My son was the luckiest of all. Asleep at the time of the accident escaped with bruises on his face and back and a bloody nose. My wife was not so lucky, of course. She probably tensed up as she stomped down on the breaks, and her body suffered for it. Her injuries are numerous and include a fractured pelvic joint, a bulging disc in her spine where her neck meets her head, a large gash in her right shin and dozens of contusions over most of her body — especially on her left side.
Her worst injury by far in my opinion is something I had never considered before the accident. Because the accident happened at the corner just outside of our rural neighborhood, there is no way to avoid the intersection. She cannot ride in a car now without spontaneously and uncontrollably weeping. She has from horrible dreams wherein she relives the accident over and over, and consequently suffers from insomnia. She is also prone to waking flashbacks, as well as visions of similar collisions whenever we pass another vehicle on a two lane road, or even while parking in the parking lot of our local grocery store. She is terrified of driving, and her body seems to be on a heightened state of alert at all times. This anxiety and stress has compounded her more physical injuries and caused her debilitating pain.
Because of the circumstances around the accident; the other driver running the red light, the impact with his vehicle, the spinning and subsequent ditching of our car, the smell of the airbags after deployment and the screams of my children as our care settled at the bottom of a ravine — and because she was driving not only herself, but our children as well — she suffers from what her doctors have diagnosed as “post traumatic stress disorder. I am told that her recovery will be complete, and that she will eventually feel whole again, but the mental recovery will likely take months — perhaps even years. In the meantime I have read everything that I can find on PTSD and auto accidents, and I am struck by stories of anxiety and mental anguish that often persist long after stitches are removed and broken bones heal.
Honestly — I always assumed that PTSD was something soldiers suffered from after experiencing war up close. I never imagined that the same kind of thing might apply to those who survive a near fatal collision. As a guy who has always been able to shrug off adversity, I must admit that it has always been hard for me to understand depression or anxiety. My gut reaction is to tell her to get back on the horse as soon as her physical injuries have healed, and maybe that works for some people — who knows? The truth of the matter is I have seen the very real effects this accident has had on my wife beyond the physical ones — I now have a deeper understanding and empathy for those who have experienced these kind of traumatic events in their lives. It is my hope that anyone who suffers from this kind of thing gets the help they need for both their physical and emotional injuries because there can be no real recovery without addressing both.
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There has been a great deal of discussion around race in America the past week or so. Some of it — like presidential candidate Barack Obama’s speech on the subject is uplifting, even where it misses the mark. The nature of this discussion is labyrinthine and fraught with peril because so many people invest so much energy into exactly how they identify as a race to other people, and also because the wounds of Americas frustrated journey from slave owning nation to the notion that we are all equal under the eyes of god and our own “laws”. It is perhaps the perfect irony that we began as a nation by declaring boldly in our Declaration of Independence:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
Much has been said about this famous passage from our most sacred of holy documents; this “declaration” of independence. But in my opinion, not enough weight is given to the power of its words to speak to our inner most desires to be FREE to live our own lives our own way — for better or worse. Instead the Declaration is read submerged in context: This is specifically a document whereby the founders declared their independence from the British Empire. No more and no less. Little attention is paid it seems to the opening passage, which describes the course which must — by definition — lead from irreconcilability towards ultimate separation. It is as inexorable as the movement of the planets.
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.
These two passages when examined in this way reveal a problem that was born simultaneously with our nation. “Here is the the truth”, they seem to say. “You are all children of god. Human. Equal.” What they could not say was that though they clearly saw the problem — ” Our representative democracy is blessed by the divine spark of God itself, comprised of citizen-kings, each equal under the eyes of the law, god and man” — is flawed to the core of its own value system because it allows men to own other men as slaves. But look to the preamble again for a clue as to how they must have known this would all turn out. Separatism lead to an eventual civil war and the emancipation proclamation. Separatism also lead to the civil rights movement, which has led us all here — some kicking and screaming still — where we find ourselves today.
Who among us can lay claim to a tale of vicious beatings visited on fathers who dared exercise the right to vote? And what of the innumerable lynchings for the crime of miscegenation? Young black men who appeared threatening were often killed because they dared look at a white woman. It is within my own life time, and I am 38 years old — that interracial marriage has been declared “legal”* in the United States. Can any white person honestly say that they remember a time when the very act of ordering food at a fast food counter was considered an act of revolution?
Race is so hard to talk about because race is so hard to talk about. I suspect the reverse is true also.
What is race?
Is it about family blood lines, and generations of offspring, traced through time and place and ending with your birth or the birth of your own children? Is it about “where you come from” and where your ancestors homeland lays on the worlds stage? Is it about national identity and pride in the history and achievements of that particular nation, above all others? Who then shall I swear my allegiances to if I am 20% Scot, 20% German, 25% Irish, 25% French and a mixture of Navajo and Italian with a smattering of Jew thrown in? What if I had a single drop of “black blood?” I wonder… What would I be then?
The truth is I am nothing particularly interesting racially. Though each of those peoples have accomplishments to point at in their histories, they also have, well… Histories. Pride in such a thing for the sake of feeling pride seems empty and contradictory indeed. But what if I were “black”? What if our nations own history served as a daily reminder that my grandparents couldn’t vote and that my parents were beaten, sprayed with fire hoses and occasionally killed outright for daring to assert their own equality in the turbulent and divided 1960’s? What if I told you that in the 1970’s we moved to Chicago or LA and my father — a college graduate — was forced to take work as a laborer in a mill somewhere while white men his junior — with only high school diplomas — surpassed him and were promoted and eventually became my fathers boss, though they lacked intellect, temperament or ambition. What if I told you that this impacted my ability to get a decent education, because my parents couldn’t afford a prep school and the local tax revenue all but collapsed as everyone who wasn’t black — and many who were — fled the neighborhood for greener pastures?
Would you understand my anger? Could you empathize with my resentment?
But the truth is I am not black. I grew up poor but everyone expected great things from me. Older people smiled as I passed them on the street and waved at me. I didn’t have to work against the expectations of white people because I was — and still am — one of them. Intellectually I can listen to the anger, I can read the stories, and perhaps even come to understand — a little — where my black brothers and sisters are coming from, but I can never truly grasp what it means to grow up with an invisible stigma attached to you as a person, and know deep down that everyone who know love or have relations with is attached to it as well.
When we judge one another by race we judge through the lens of our own experience. Those who have made it to the top of our society tend to believe that anyone can, and they are absolutely right of course. Those nearer the bottom are more prone to feel as if the deck is stacked against them in some way, and it totally is.
Race is hard to talk about because it is hard to talk about. And I suspect the reverse is also true. In fact, I believe that the reverse of the reverse is true as well. It is my heartfelt and personal belied that we must each — regardless of our race, or relative lack thereof — must examine our expectations about each other and the world. We must look critically at our beliefs, so that they might evolve with our collective and individual wisdom, as god surely intended. We must always resist the temptation to strike out in anger or retribution for sleights both real and imagined. We must all come to examine — in a true and meaningful way — our own prejudices, so that we are able to one day reconcile those that belong to the people who “aren’t like us” because unless we learn to have discussions about the hard things — as openly as possible — we are doomed to separation from each other and from ourselves. There can be no short changing the muse if we are truly to be “free”.
*In 1967, the Supreme Court ruling in Loving v. Virginia struck down the last of the anti-miscegenation laws in the United States
I paid 75 American for this B.C. Rich “Bronze” Mockingbird style guitar. The guy who sold it to me said it had been his nephews and he had probably played it once or twice, if that. And it was a real challenge to straighten it out but with the help of my daughter we stripped it down, adjusted the bridge, plated the electronics and re-stringed it. After some tweaking, we plugged it into my new home practice rig: A Line 6 30 Watt combo and a 4 channel foot pedal system with built in volume and wah.
I have a setting I like to call post industrial titanium, and it is pretty much the heaviest metal tone I can conjure up, with a little bit of phaser and a touch of phase echo. It is spacey enough to draw you down into it, and heavy enough to give you heart palpitations until you crawl back up.
The guitar sounds great clean and dirty, roots or post industrial. It rips and slides and has great sustain. Of course, thats the downside to digital modeling; everything comes out tits up regardless of your gear. It also looks real trippy when we use the delay filter in my digital camera to shoot action shots.
It almost pains me to do what I have to next. My daughter Karianna and I are stripping this one down and doing some art on it. I can think of a few ideas for a design motif that would fit the overall shape of the Mockingbird, and really tie it in as a distinctive piece, but am open to suggestions. I am nowhere near the artist Robert James Langenwalter is but I am pretty sure we can do a halfway decent homage.
Your thoughts?
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“edun LIVE is a an ethical tee-shirt company created by Ali Hewson and Bono” is how their main blurb reads and that is exactly what caught my attention when I first saw it. “What the hell does Bono have to do with tee-shirts?” I speculated. “And just who the hell is Ali Hewson?”
A little digging helped put it all in perspective of course. With apologies to Bono; – I mostly love your music of course, but had not previously paid any attention to your marital status. I found out that edun LIVE is an tee-shirt company who specialized in organic tee shirts which are made of 100% combed African cotton, so you know — these tee-shirts are “extra soft and delightfully smooth”.
If this is starting to sound like a commercial, then give yourself a cookie because — it is. We are proud to be affiliated with edun LIVE because we like their mission. Keep the capitalization of African cotton where it is needed most: In Sub Saharan Africa. According to their FAQ:
edun LIVE is not a charity, it is a for-profit business. Via a successful economic business model driven by high-volume sales, it is edun LIVE’s mission to provide long-term sustainable employment in developing countries to help foster economic growth rather than provide charity.
and
edun LIVE has a triple bottom line, which means edun LIVE’s decision to do business with a factory is not based only on price and margin – it is also based on the resulting social and environmental impact. edun LIVE is focused on providing a deeper commitment by working with the factories to grow their capabilities so they are a viable resource, not only for edun LIVE, but also for other brands.
Now, Bono doesn’t need my endorsement, or our affiliation. But I wanted to draw some attention indirectly to a relatively new concept in business. I like to call it “For Profit — with a Mission”. This is a concept that involves making money for yourself or your shareholders without being a miserable fucking prick to the environment around you, or the people who work for — and make their living supporting — your corporation.
This is an important but difficult concept for some, but only because they are indoctrinated into a paradigm of uselessly irrational expectations by the popular culture which encourages consumerism by marginalizing anything lower then yourself on the food chain. Let me give it to you without the buzzwords for a moment: Profit is good, and having a society worth living in is also good, and it is up to each of us to make it “come into being” daily.
I don’t know if business like edun LIVE is the harbinger of something good, or not. But I do know that there is a tremendous business value in considering more then just the bottom line, while not losing sight of it.
With apologies to Ali Hewson.
Dex out
These blank t-shirts help create jobs in Africa.
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Check out this video from Berkleemusic.com and watch as Associate Professor at Berklee College of Music, Michael Williams explains how to spice up your rhythm guitar playing and get that T Bone Walker sound by adding chromatic approaches to the chords in your favorite blues guitar progressions.
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You probably know a little about invisibility. You are aware of the invisible man through movies such as 2000’s “Hollow Man”, the fabled 1933 adaptation of HG Wells’s 1897 novel “The Invisible Man”, the 1958 Television series “The Invisible Man” or the 1978 TV series of the same name and general tale. You are likely familiar with Sue Storm of Fantastic Four fame, and have either read the comic book or seen the movies based on the same. Regardless, you are familiar with the concept – at the very least, and –have at least a layman’s knowledge of the secret art of becoming invisible.
For the magus however, these popular representations of invisibility are merely the starting point in ones magical study of the art. To gain a proper perspective, one must dig a little deeper. Many animals, plants and insects possess the innate ability to camouflage themselves, either as a defense against predators or as a means to more effective predation. The methods used in each case are instructive, but ultimately not very useful to a practicing magician. It has long been the desire of the US ARMY to deploy a technological form of invisibility for its infantry, and these inquiries have led to the creation of a modern day cloak of invisibility in which light deflecting material is utilized in such a way as to effectively camouflage anything behind it. In the very near future suits fashioned of lightweight but very durable nano-materials may be covered in microscopic cameras and lenses that reflect whatever is present on the backside of the apparatus, creating the “predator” effect so common in science fiction and fantasy films.
For a true magus however, simple invisibility has long been a cornerstone of the Fools journey to full enlightenment. What at first seems so foundational to ones understanding of “magic” – in both the theatrical and Crowlean sense – often becomes no more than a cantrip; a tool among tools in any true magicians arsenal.
Before I continue I would like to thank Robert Thomas Bolland for procuring for me a handwritten copy of the notebook created by his mentor: Kailas Akashik , concerning the art and practice of simple invisibility. I have incorporated the theorems contained therein into my own investigation of the subject matter, and I have attempted to credit them both where practical and applicable. Now, without further ado; a list of practical lessons towards mastery of the hidden art of simple invisibility.
Simple Invisibility is the magical ability to remain unseen. Grok that for a moment. Every intentional act is a magical act. If your intention is that you are not seen, then you must – by definition – remain unseen. If your intention is to suddenly disappear in front of witnesses, then you will naturally draw upon various tricks and gimmicks to accomplish that end, but that is “disappearing”, and this article is not about disappearing… It is about remaining unseen.
To practice simple invisibility is to utilize many kinds of magic, for there are many aspects to its practice for a student to consider. Learn these skills, and commit the thought process to memory through conscious repetition of these techniques, and you will master the art for yourself.
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What is your musical background? How did you get started? Where are you from? Where do you live now? Do different places inspire different kinds of music from you?
My background, for going back to the very beginning, is as a drummer. A lot of drummers end up making music, because when you play drums in bands, you tend to lack any outlet for musical ideas you might be having. I started getting interested quite early on in the recording process – renting 4 track machines and being excited when I could turn the tape over and hear things backwards. I started in Vancouver – I lived there for most of my life. I moved to Los Angeles a couple of years ago, and I would say that while it hasn’t inspired me as directly as traveling does, it has made me feel more motivated to work harder. I still think that taking 3 to 6 months and going to a completely foreign part of the world is probably the most inspiring thing to do in terms of getting new ideas, and new songs written. That and having the tools to make the process inspiring as well.
What are you working on now?
Describe for us the composition and recording process as it applies to your work.
Well, it has changed quite a lot due to the fact that I have much less equipment which has been a blessing and a curse. It was not a practical option for me to bring down a whole studios worth of equipment to Los Angeles, and so therefore I have found myself working with a laptop and several small monosynths and my effects processor. What I am really missing is having a large console and lots of effects to work with. I became accustomed to a dub approach to mixing over the years, and using a lot of sound sources acoustically, which was enabled by having a large space and a lot of equipment to work on. People who have followed my work over the years probably notice that lately it has become more minimal and more electronic, which is largely due to this fact. I will work in the old way again, when it is possible, and then I will probably infuriate people by releasing albums that run the full spectrum of genres again….something I have had a tendency to do in the past.
Do you prefer to work alone or with collaborators?
People today have so many options when it comes to listening to music. The MP3 player in particular frees us from radio, and leaves radio scrambling to maintain relevance through satellite, podcasting and other sources of so called new media. What do you listen to for pleasure and how do you listen to it?
I still prefer to listen to LPs. I prefer the tactile nature of putting them on, checking out the cover. This is how I started listening to music, and it remains my favourite. The problem is carting 2 or 3 thousand records around. MP3s are ok, but I don’t really like the way they sound. I find the whole act involved with digital music kind of cheapens the experience, but that is probably more due to my age than anything. It is the way people listen to music now, and as long as they still get goose bumps occasionally, then I say go for it.
As an artist, what are your thoughts and feelings regarding p2p / file sharing? How do you feel about copyright? Is the current law too strict? Does it last too long? Do you think that reform should happen? And do you think there will be any changes in copyright law as a reaction to p2p?
I don’t really care one way or the other about file sharing. I obviously like to make a living making music, but money has never been the sole objective of making it. If someone hears my music for free, and enjoys it, then I have still done my part. Its not something I lose sleep over. I think people who get really uptight about the whole file sharing thing end up usually being people with plenty of money who want still more money. That has been my experience anyway.
Your music is very cinematic, and is wonderful for setting moods. Are you a visual person in general? Do you compose with your “mind’s eye” focused on pictures, scenes and other visual ideas?
Your music seems to lend itself to setting very well. Some of it is clearly made to for lovers, and so on. When we interviewed the visual artist Robert James, he indicated that some records were made for certain activities. Do you have a favorite driving record? A favorite BBQ record? A lot of your work seems to encompass themes of travel, escape and human interactions – do you travel a lot? Where have you been in your life? What places were the most interesting? Where would you go back tomorrow if you could?
Aside from music, how do you keep your creative juices flowing?
Looking down the road, what do you imagine the music of the next couple of decades will be about? Do you think music will remain the shared experience of youth and youth culture? How can music transcend the stigma of youth culture and still remain relevant?
Any parting words or ideas? What does Phil Western think about that we should all be thinking about?
Phil Western dot net — a great resource for Phil Western fans
Colour Speaks — the record company
Phil Western — on MySpace
About Phil Western — Wikipedia
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What is your musical background? How did you get started? Where are you from? Where do you live now? Do different places inspire different kinds of music from you?
My background, for going back to the very beginning, is as a drummer. A lot of drummers end up making music, because when you play drums in bands, you tend to lack any outlet for musical ideas you might be having. I started getting interested quite early on in the recording process – renting 4 track machines and being excited when I could turn the tape over and hear things backwards. I started in Vancouver – I lived there for most of my life. I moved to Los Angeles a couple of years ago, and I would say that while it hasn’t inspired me as directly as traveling does, it has made me feel more motivated to work harder. I still think that taking 3 to 6 months and going to a completely foreign part of the world is probably the most inspiring thing to do in terms of getting new ideas, and new songs written. That and having the tools to make the process inspiring as well.
What are you working on now?
Describe for us the composition and recording process as it applies to your work.
Well, it has changed quite a lot due to the fact that I have much less equipment which has been a blessing and a curse. It was not a practical option for me to bring down a whole studios worth of equipment to Los Angeles, and so therefore I have found myself working with a laptop and several small monosynths and my effects processor. What I am really missing is having a large console and lots of effects to work with. I became accustomed to a dub approach to mixing over the years, and using a lot of sound sources acoustically, which was enabled by having a large space and a lot of equipment to work on. People who have followed my work over the years probably notice that lately it has become more minimal and more electronic, which is largely due to this fact. I will work in the old way again, when it is possible, and then I will probably infuriate people by releasing albums that run the full spectrum of genres again….something I have had a tendency to do in the past.
Do you prefer to work alone or with collaborators?
People today have so many options when it comes to listening to music. The MP3 player in particular frees us from radio, and leaves radio scrambling to maintain relevance through satellite, podcasting and other sources of so called new media. What do you listen to for pleasure and how do you listen to it?
I still prefer to listen to LPs. I prefer the tactile nature of putting them on, checking out the cover. This is how I started listening to music, and it remains my favourite. The problem is carting 2 or 3 thousand records around. MP3s are ok, but I don’t really like the way they sound. I find the whole act involved with digital music kind of cheapens the experience, but that is probably more due to my age than anything. It is the way people listen to music now, and as long as they still get goose bumps occasionally, then I say go for it.
As an artist, what are your thoughts and feelings regarding p2p / file sharing? How do you feel about copyright? Is the current law too strict? Does it last too long? Do you think that reform should happen? And do you think there will be any changes in copyright law as a reaction to p2p?
I don’t really care one way or the other about file sharing. I obviously like to make a living making music, but money has never been the sole objective of making it. If someone hears my music for free, and enjoys it, then I have still done my part. Its not something I lose sleep over. I think people who get really uptight about the whole file sharing thing end up usually being people with plenty of money who want still more money. That has been my experience anyway.
Your music is very cinematic, and is wonderful for setting moods. Are you a visual person in general? Do you compose with your “mind’s eye” focused on pictures, scenes and other visual ideas?
Your music seems to lend itself to setting very well. Some of it is clearly made to for lovers, and so on. When we interviewed the visual artist Robert James, he indicated that some records were made for certain activities. Do you have a favorite driving record? A favorite BBQ record? A lot of your work seems to encompass themes of travel, escape and human interactions – do you travel a lot? Where have you been in your life? What places were the most interesting? Where would you go back tomorrow if you could?
Aside from music, how do you keep your creative juices flowing?
Looking down the road, what do you imagine the music of the next couple of decades will be about? Do you think music will remain the shared experience of youth and youth culture? How can music transcend the stigma of youth culture and still remain relevant?
Any parting words or ideas? What does Phil Western think about that we should all be thinking about?
Phil Western dot net — a great resource for Phil Western fans
Colour Speaks — the record company
Phil Western — on MySpace
About Phil Western — Wikipedia